Michael’s Reflective Paper Essay Example for Free

Michaels Reflective Paper Essay* Who am I? What life founder intercourses made me who I am directly? Was it my family, my social surround where I went to school, the groups, or organizations that I belonged to, or was it certain life events that influence me? * This newspaper is my attempt to show that my family and social environment, my life experiences from childhood to present influenced me to be the person that I am to mean solar day and who I will be in the future. As I reflect upon my life, at the advance of forty-nine, I have come to the conclusion that my family and social environment when growing up, surviving pubic louse in my twenties, and getting married in my thirties be the main social influences and life events that have influence who I am today and who I want to become in the future. Every one of these experiences has wedded me some(a)thing learning to be independent from family attitudes dealing with the state of uncertainty, which comes with the disea se tariff of marriage and the importance to key out the field of expertise for stiff ply.All these insights can be described as building effective human relationships with people and developing self-understanding on different levels. * To understand my family life, and why I feel that their negative attitudes to me shaped me to be a better person, I first have to give you some background on my family and me. The background of my family clarifies how important for me was to be independent from this alienating environment. My mother died when I was save a twelvemonth old and my founder raised my older brother Kevin and me by himself until he met my stepmother.My father remarried and had my two stepbrothers William and Robert. My father was a strict disciplinarian, racist, drank a lot, and worked as a machinist at a refinery plant. My stepmother was a lady of the house as my father did not approve of her working and felt that she needed to be at mob taking care of the children . My stepmother came from an orphanage, had polio in her left hand. She was to a fault an alcoholic, meaning that she was nasty when drunk in addition, she was a chain smoker.Kevin was the oldest son one and a half years older than me (and my fathers favorite one), I was the middle child, William was five years younger than me and was diagnosed at an early age as having severe anxiety deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) Robert was the youngest. Witt and Mossler (2010) quote the longitudinal research study which has shown that the attitudes of parents towards children preferably than the practices of raising children shape our personality in adulthood (Ch. 1, p. 11). It is evident that lack of my fathers precaution has influenced me a lot, stimulating me to attract my parents attention, for better or for worse.The authors also stress on the importance of the environment of growing up, both social and physical (Witt Mossler, 2010, Ch. 1, p. 13). We lived in a relatively low middle shape white community in Beaumont, Texas next door to my fathers brother and his family. The area where we lived in was close to the outskirts of Beaumont and was nestled back in the woods, so the woods were our playground. This could create the feeling of abandonment, but it was also empowering somehow, as I learned by these circumstances to rely on myself.Palkovitz, Marks, Appleby, and Holmes (2002) treat the relationship amongst parents and children as a complex unit consisting of father factors, co parental factors, mother factors, child factors, and contextual factors (p. 8). It is evident that in my family, there was disintegration in a sense on all levels. It was elicit to discover that, according to the study by Palkovitz, Marks, Appleby, and Holmes (2002), my fathers attitude was shaped by his experience in romantic relationships and then projected upon children (p. 8). I had to develop independence from this painful emotional context.My relationship with my father suf ferd me to be non-racist, disciplined, and extroverted, as my father was a strict disciplinarian, program lineling, and racist man. He gave all his attention to my older brother and ignored me unless I did something that angered him. His treatment of me caused me to crave his attention and to seek to cheer him until I reached my teenage years and decided that I did not want to be like my father. I rebelled against his control upon me. He tried to control what I did after school, how I wore my hair, how I thought, and what I cute to be when I graduated high school.I was deeply afraid of him when I was a child, and only when I became a young adult did I see that what he was doing to me was wrong. I started standing up for myself. I started seeking attention outside my family and I got a job after school so that I started earning my own money. That allowed me to purchase my own clothes, get my haircut how I wanted, and purchase my first car that gave me the liberty to escape from m y dysfunctional family on a daily basis. My first car and earning my own money gave me the skill to distance myself from my family.However, later circumstances of my life taught me that people can also be supporting and self-reliance is not enough. When I was in my early twenties working and going to college, I developed Hodgkins disease that has also changed my personality. Hodgkins is a form of cancer that affects the lymphatic system. Like other forms of cancer, it is believed to cause the feelings of uncertainty, lack of control, anxiety, isolation, discomfort, and last but not least re-definition of goals and roles (Halldorsdottir Hamrin, 1996, p. 34).On one hand, one feels that he has to re-define his empower in the society on another hand, people care about those with the disease more and care more (at least they are supposed to do so). I experienced how it was not to have the control upon my life, but also how it was to be cared for by others. Anyway, when one is ill a nd so evidently dependent upon the society, the innate(p) question comes Did I do anything wrong? And what was it? Often cancer is associated with suppressed anger and a confide to please other (or at least attract attention) (Broderick, 1996, p. 14), and this really could be my case.I must moderate that this understanding came along with serious heart problems. Still, illness did not prevent me from shouldering responsibility in work and family life, as head as from the joys of both. I met my wife during my thirties when I was changing my careers from being a technician to a salesperson. Interestingly, psychologists nowadays view professional development of an individual as an ongoing process (not control to certain age group), the first stage of which is exploration (Smart Peterson, 1997, p. 59).So, I was engaged in a gentle of double exploration, searching for new ways in professional life as well as personal, consciously or not. In addition, like a career, marriage is a serious responsibility that implies both joyful outcomes and stress together with work on oneself. This personal responsibility has changed me a lot, belief how to meet the needs of another person with whom I have been living day by day for a long time. I find the recommendations addicted by Witt and Mossler (2010, Ch. 3, p. 37) helpful, though challenging sometimes.People are happy in marriage when they support each other materially and emotionally, not forgetting to be positive, carry on feelings, thank each other, express affection, and do certain tasks together. In prolonged perspective, my family life and work taught me how to be productive and understanding in relationships with people and how to maintain stability in the changing world somewhat and in the situations when inner conflicts arise. That is why in my future, I want to pass on the knowledge that my logical argument as a sales manager has given to me.Perhaps I will start organizing some training sessions. This m ay also help to deepen my competence in the field of sales and on the level of personal communication, as people may share their valuable experience with me on the trainings. As I reflect upon my life now, from quite a distance, I have concluded that several events were the strongest in making me the person I am at present. They were my family and social environment in childhood, surviving cancer in my twenties, and getting married in my thirties.My family life stimulated me to earn living independently, cancer excerption was essential in understanding my own potential and the ability to help of the people around, and marriage has given me the notion of responsibility. The dark years and events turn out to be ambivalent in the sense that they have given me certain experience and understanding of myself. Those main social influences and life events that I described in this paper have shaped my present personality and my thoughts about the future.